I have been feeling compelled to write recently, for the past few weeks, but I have been too busy scrolling watching Mad Men while simultaneously playing Tetris. I do this almost every day. Something about the overstimulation keeps me coming back.
There were scenes of Don Draper writing to himself in a poetic, self-reflective manner that finally pushed me over the edge. Why is it so hard to start something you feel compelled to do? It’s not hard. It’s also not hard to lay down after work and play Tetris for 2 hours.
Like writing, some things are simple to do but hard. Like running – it’s basic mechanics of one foot in front of the other. Simple enough, but hard once you start because your legs start to ache and your body can’t take it even if your mind wants to keep going. Writing is simple, you type down things that you think of. Simple enough, but hard once you start because suddenly your mind has nothing to say even if your fingers want to keep typing.
I run on the indoor track at my local university’s student rec center. No matter how long or fast I run there is something innately embarrassing about it to me. I feel as if the entire gym is thinking “that girl is slow and her posture sucks” even though I know the truth is no one cares, and I don’t really care either. When I write anything personal and for pleasure publicly, I feel as if every reader is thinking “that girl is not well spoken and her grammar sucks” even though I know the truth is no one cares.
Who cares? Who? Cares?
I’ll write for fun! I’ll run for fun!
Because I don’t want to be a scrollhead.
A scrollhead is a term I recently read, ironically while scrolling on reddit, that refers to a person who can’t take their eyes of an algorithmic feed for a moment to exist in the real world. I have been saying to myself recently “don’t be a scrollhead” the same way someone might say “don’t be a litterbug.”
It is in the best interest of my mental health to do absolutely anything besides scrolling online. I’ve taken up Fortnite recently, and as much as it is embarrassing to admit I have joined the likes of thousands of preteen boys, it’s better than getting sucked into a feed.
The feed will make you feel like you have learned a hundred new things and nothing at all at the same time. It will temporarily relieve some loneliness only to make you feel worse than when you opened the app.
So, I started peeling back the bad habit of scrolling to reveal other activities that like Tetris, Fortnite, and binge-watching Mad Men. I am not sure I can completely commit to a perfect routine of running and writing in my spare time, but I know it is simple, and that helps.
Mimi Chronicle 